Letting it go

It's nearing the end of year 2008. It feels like it had happened so long ago but the last communication between us took place just early this year.

I'm sure there're hidden reasons to why it occurred and ended like this. Funny, I could only remember the sadness more than the enjoyable moments we had, if there ever were.

Sometimes, I wonder why he didn't give us a chance when he clearly gave the others a chance. I used to blame because I thought maybe it was me, there was something wrong with me, then I realised he was just a confused man who played with emotions.

As much as I want to forget about that person, wondering why he ever came to my life, there are always blessings in disguise.

Let it go.

Fresh rose petals

I been wanting to write something on this blog of mine. Words of memories but I can't find the right words to tell what I am and have been feeling inside. It just feels so special. Sacred special. If I could paint it on a potrait, I think it will look colourful, alive and beautiful.

I think I'm losing focused in my work. Now, that doesn't happen before.

All that I know that I am happy. At this moment. With him. Still scared and worried. But, happy. Almond-shaped happy eyes.

Love. It feels almost, I suppose but I dare not say that it yet sure. A looong way to go for that.

Funny, that I am still mindful for the hurt that may come one day.

What makes

Honest. Commitment. You. Me. Us.

That's the opening for Beyonce's new single " If I were a Boy". I believe in that. I try not to disallow or curbing one's space. Jealousy is a natural thing but I also believe in communicating well with each other so that there will be no miscommunication occurring in wrongful thinkings or ideas.

Am I too nice and thoughtful?

A picture that he took at Asahi Lake, Hakone.

Memorable sunset

As the sun slowly sets in with the front glimpse of the Pacific ocean. Just peace and calm. Clasping hands with him as you enjoyed the moment. Worth the climb up.

Wish things would be different

Reflecting those memories. Great and beautiful ones.

I'm glad that we are honest and have been always with each other. We talk about our friendship and on how we met and then got close.

"Am I your secret lover?" He asked me with those tender raw emotions shown in his eyes. Not knowing on whether I should say yes or no.

Under the circumstances that we are in, it is hard to be inside a relationship with each other. He knows it and I know it. " What did I do to deserve such a pretty girl like you?" Spoken with tears in his eyes.

"You're nice. Always eager to please me." "I have always been independent all my life. Hence, I am scared to know that I am beginning to be dependent on you."

It is not being me so stubbornly independent and he knows it. Wish things would be different. Till then, I could only pretend even if it hurts inside. Love bites.

Random pieces of SMSes

"Have you finished packing your things?"
"Almost...you need me to help you in getting anything?:D"
"Later, what time shall I see you at the airport?"
" 930 pm Departure hall Terminal 3"
"Wokies, gigi Pink!"
"See you Hoshi Hiro san!"


Who will have thought that I will be taking the fat, humogous plane tonight.

Finally. Mine!

Bought my canon DSLR finally! What's more sweeter was that he was there to celebrate this long time dream and so-much hesistation gadget purchase. " You just light up. Clear happiness on the face. " As he laughed at me as I was playing around with the buttons.

Friends have been telling me to take care of myself and what-nots. I'll be away for only 1 week, hmm...it should be fine. I'm so damn tired and burnt out with my project works. I hate my boss at the moment. I really need to leave before I turned into a monster, heh.

Going to breathe in the fresh autumn air, rest and relax. Then, next month another trip up for winter. And taking lots of photos! Yay!