" I like spending time with you because you make me feel safe" "Yes, I will miss you." "I will miss you too."
This time to Victorville for 5 days. An audit observer to see the ground for parking planes.
Funny, we made so much plans to spend this weekend and the next but they had to be shelved due to his adhoc duty travel plan.
Addictive. Spending too much time with each other, feels so inseparable.
20 December, 2008
Crack
Shouting for help but I do not know who or how to tell. Visible cracks just waiting to break. As tears come tumbling down.
Feels so helpless.
Feels so helpless.
07 December, 2008
Dealing with it
I'm finally watching those DVDs that I bought at a flea market in Bangkok. And, that was early this year, finally found the time and need to watch them. I think I'm slowly getting hooked to Grey's anatomy.
Probably, I need to do something to get my mind off thinking about him. Seeing my dad taking care of my mum, made me cry yesterday. Make me realised that there was someone who took really good care of me and now because of the huge differences between us, we were just not meant to be together.
Of all the guys that I have dated, which are not that many, he will always be the best. Probably because he's the most matured one. Maybe I'll resign before the next PTF starts again. For now, pretend to be just friends, stop looking at him in a special way. It's hard, harder that I need to curb those bubbling feelings inside. I think I've grown weak, I used to be so strong and independent. This is not planned, we are supposed to be just friends. If only he did not do that, maybe we will still stick to where we were, at least he did not know and I did not know. But it happened and it was so great.
I hate long weekends, I just can't wait for tomorrow to be over and I'll be back to work. To greet him " Hey Buddy!" with a big fake smile, if I get to see him on Tuesday.
Probably, I need to do something to get my mind off thinking about him. Seeing my dad taking care of my mum, made me cry yesterday. Make me realised that there was someone who took really good care of me and now because of the huge differences between us, we were just not meant to be together.
Of all the guys that I have dated, which are not that many, he will always be the best. Probably because he's the most matured one. Maybe I'll resign before the next PTF starts again. For now, pretend to be just friends, stop looking at him in a special way. It's hard, harder that I need to curb those bubbling feelings inside. I think I've grown weak, I used to be so strong and independent. This is not planned, we are supposed to be just friends. If only he did not do that, maybe we will still stick to where we were, at least he did not know and I did not know. But it happened and it was so great.
I hate long weekends, I just can't wait for tomorrow to be over and I'll be back to work. To greet him " Hey Buddy!" with a big fake smile, if I get to see him on Tuesday.
06 December, 2008
End
Hard and confusing. We had this conversation before.
"Why can we let it be as it is?" " We don't have to think that far yet."
"I don't want you to be without options."
Simple pleasures. The beach and the sea were just infront of our work place. Both of us are sea-lovers but had never taken the time to take a walk over there.
The weather was just nice and breezy. Sitting on the bench, enjoying the sight of the vast sea, the ships sailing along, the planes hovering above ,waiting to land at the nearby airport and the sound of waves hitting the beach.
It was just a perfect beginning to a long weekend.
"Tell me when you want it to end." "We will end it then." "Back to being good friends." I turned to look at his face as he says this. His face unreadable.
An unfamiliar pain felt in my chest.
"Why can we let it be as it is?" " We don't have to think that far yet."
"I don't want you to be without options."
Simple pleasures. The beach and the sea were just infront of our work place. Both of us are sea-lovers but had never taken the time to take a walk over there.
The weather was just nice and breezy. Sitting on the bench, enjoying the sight of the vast sea, the ships sailing along, the planes hovering above ,waiting to land at the nearby airport and the sound of waves hitting the beach.
It was just a perfect beginning to a long weekend.
"Tell me when you want it to end." "We will end it then." "Back to being good friends." I turned to look at his face as he says this. His face unreadable.
An unfamiliar pain felt in my chest.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)