If Only

Never know that I will be writing something like this today, but I am.

Sigh. It had been fun I suppose. Who will have thought that it will lead to something nice and warm to the heart. Am I regreting it? Not a slightest because I had already sensed that it will come to this, one day. Yes, he made me laugh, smile and happy just as I give the support and rally motivation to him. He is a nice and good man but because of the vast differences and the circumstances that both of us are in, it can never lead to anywhere. He still have his inferior insecurities that builds so deep in him that even me, can't make him change his mind.

Again, I never regret this. I can't change myself if I am nice because that's the way I was brought up to. Supernice is what he calls me whenever he feels guilty about something.

In my heart, I wish him well. If only things are different. He knows how much I care about him as I know he cares for me in his own ways. But we are still good friends and I am glad to say that there's no awkwardness towards that as we were friends before we became so close.

If only, ya.

Stunning.Sexy.Exciting.Fantastic.

Fantastic is just an underrated word to describe this great movie. But one thing I could only complaint was that the ending was so abrupt. Keeps you gapping for more but alas, it's over. Worth the money!

Happy Birthday to him!

A box of colourful cupcakes that made him cry when he first stepped into his office that eventful morning. Interesting that those cupcakes made a grown man cried.

Count the cupcakes to guess for his age. He's getting old, wiser I hope.

Treat and gift

It's been 3 days after my birthday. And, I'm just starting to eat my birthday cake. Looks like my parents and brother have started before me. A good reason to buy an ice-cream cake since that's their favourites. It's okay, as I've been coming home late after work because of the two projects that I need to think about.

I got this from him. I'm staring at it and I don't know what this is supposed to mean. A small embroidery black pillow. My friends whom I have shown it said, it's a sweet gift and that I am lucky. I guess I should be appreciating it, I suppose. Looking blankly at it as it stares back at me.

Older

I'll be older in a few hours time. I guess I'll be working tomorrow, discussing with the lean management consultant on the EFB modification project. My SVP wants me to do dual projects; the DAW which is coming an end soon and the EFB mod which starts tomorrow for me; while my boss has clash ideas from him, but then again, what's new. Torn between which to listen to on directions; yes I'm a innocent victim of these 2 men whom I wish will just talk and discuss properly with each other. Sucks.

Him. Him and his stupid aircraft sales career. I'm done with him. He's just a passe of my life.

Exotic, exciting and great!

It's going to be exotic, exciting and great! Cultures, people and food, bing bang go! 3 countries in 2 weeks. Gosh, I can't wait. Great reason to get a damn good camera, the hunger to take great pictures while you are on holiday and travelling overseas is pitching me.

Counting down man, counting down!

Looking forward

Friends know that I don't drink coffee at all. Feeling so irritated as I stared back at the vending machine with lots of coins in hand. Momentarily thinking as I finally push hard on the buttons for the nescafe latte can. Pulling back the lid as I sipped in the smooth frothy milky coffee.

Sweet taste felt in the mouth. I continued to drink up as I sigh, making my way back to the office. I could immediately feel abit lighter as the heart beats abit faster. The effect coffee can make me but already, I'm welcoming the good effect it has on me.

I'm counting down the days when this Dubai project is over but the strange thing is that I like being busy. Makes the time at the office waste faster since I'm not able to leave yet ever since PTF SMS finishes because of this VVIP cabin retrofit modificaton project. But next week, I could disappear for 3 days for the airline course that I chose to attend. It will be great chance to meet colleagues from all the different kind of departments from the parent, the cargo and the subsidiary airline company. To that, I'm looking forward to see the new faces.

"How are things with you and him?" "He looks so sad when I saw him the other day." Sad probably he was forced to complete the other sales aircraft since there were some internal problems occuring in his side; his colleague messes up the whole program, his boss will be quiting soon and there's thousands of defects picked up by the customer.

There's nothing much to say to him except hearing his complaints about his work, his lousy work colleagues and his DVP. He is such a moody person nowadays that nothing could cheer him up. I even chose not to share my work funs with him anymore.

Two persons focusing on each other's own things now. I'm just waiting for the day when I could not even recognise him anymore as we drift from each other more and more.

I know this will happen one day. Guess all good things will come to an end soon or later.The only matter to look forward is my trip in December.

"Now you're feeling more and more frustrated

And you're getting all kind of impatient waiting

You believe and you doubt

You're confused, you got it all figured out

Everything that you always wished for

When you need to find the strength

It's the faith that makes you stronger

The only way we get there

Is one step at a time

Take one step at a time

There's no need to rush

It's like learning to fly

On falling in love"